New Joke Thread

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Guineapig004
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by Guineapig004 » Tue May 01, 2018 11:29 pm

A woman goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "Your finger is broken."
"And fear struck the hearts of the dodos, as they realized they were being watched..."

naturegirl1999
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by naturegirl1999 » Sat May 12, 2018 12:46 am

Why did the proton call the electron a pessimist?

The electron is always negative
I'm gonna put the last thing I copied here. Will change each time I visit for variety
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Guineapig004
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by Guineapig004 » Sat May 12, 2018 1:35 am

You know how some people call their toilet the "John". Well, I call mine the "Jim". It sounds good if I say I go to the "Jim" everyday.
"And fear struck the hearts of the dodos, as they realized they were being watched..."

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BakedToast
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by BakedToast » Sat Jul 14, 2018 5:37 pm

What do you call a bread-throwing warrior from Tibet?

Naan-chucks
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by Guineapig004 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 8:33 pm

John: If life gave you lemons what would you do?

Jill: I would give life the lemons back!
"And fear struck the hearts of the dodos, as they realized they were being watched..."

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magmacube_tr
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by magmacube_tr » Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:59 am

One day bus driver Temel was carrying white and black passengers. then the whites said that blacks should
sit on back of the bus and blacks started saying the opposite. when argument almost escalated to fight Temel stopped the bus take them out and said them to shut their ******* mouths and declared that all of them are green.then take everyone to the bus.later everyone started to argue again. Temel thought that he could get fired because of this and said "but dark greens must sit back"
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Guineapig004
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by Guineapig004 » Mon Aug 20, 2018 9:48 pm

Mom: Ann! Last night there were two pieces of cake in the pantry, and now there is only one!
Ann: I'm sorry, I must have missed the other piece...
"And fear struck the hearts of the dodos, as they realized they were being watched..."

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BakedToast
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by BakedToast » Wed Aug 22, 2018 3:13 pm

I was surprised when walking down the beach to be splashed by a very large wave of salt water; I hadn't been paying attention, and had been... Brinesided.
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magmacube_tr
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by magmacube_tr » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:53 pm

Why no Hetero Erectus :!:
Your everyday cube of molten rock. Also, a baby dragon.
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Re: New Joke Thread

Post by Guineapig004 » Sun Dec 09, 2018 12:04 am

Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle.

Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords.
"And fear struck the hearts of the dodos, as they realized they were being watched..."

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